VietNamNet Bridge - “Will you incite your child to fight back  if he is attacked first?” 

Mr Nguyen Tung Lam, headmaster of Dinh Tien Hoang High School

Parents have different answers to this question.

Ha Thanh, a third grader, said he was afraid of going to school because he sees a school bully every day. “He is my classmate, but he is taller and stronger,” Thanh told his parents. 

The parents contacted the teacher to complain and ask for the teacher’s help. The teacher reassured Thanh that the bullying would not happen again and the boy returned to class. 

However, he was disappointed as the teacher could not help. The classmate continued to bully him, but he could not report every incident to the teacher. Finally, the parents enrolled their son in another school.

School bullying has become a serious problem. On education forums, parents often complain about the safety of the school environment. The victims of bullying cannot seek help from teachers, while parents don't know how to give the best advice to their children on how to face bullies.

School bullying has become a serious problem. On education forums, parents often complain about the safety of the school environment. The victims of bullying cannot seek help from teachers, while parents don't know how to give the best advice to their children on how to face bullies. 

“Will you advise your child to fight the classmate who fought your child first?” was one question raised on an education forum. 

Many parents believe their children need to react strongly to avoid continued bullying. 

“I will tell my son to concede to the classmate once and fight back if the classmate repeats his action,” a father, a factory worker, wrote on the forum.

“Teachers always say that students need to be obedient and complain to teachers instead of fighting friends back. However, teachers are not always on the site to settle the problem,” the man said.

Another parent, a 44-year-old woman, also thought that it was necessary to ‘retaliate’. “Concession is not advisable, because this will not help,” she said. “Stronger is the winner".

However, the mother admitted that fighting is not the solution female students can use.

Huynh Thai Hoa, a mother in Cau Giay district in Hanoi, advised her daughter to avoid “strong, tall male students”. “If you complain to the teacher, the bully may take revenge, and the problem may become even more serious,” Hoa said.

Nguyen Tung Lam, chair of the Hanoi Education Psychology Association, headmaster of Dinh Tien Hoang High School, said that school bullying had spiralled out of control. He said that victims will be negatively affected, but advises against using physical attacks in bullying cases.

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