VietNamNet Bridge - The high expectations of parents for their children is believed to be the major reason behind the high percentage of students who have considered suicide.

 

A report on student health released by the Ministry of Health and Education & Training showed that 16.9 percent of students had thought of suicide, and of these, 21.8 percent had to receive medical treatment.

Analysts have mentioned the so-called ‘duck syndrome’, a term coined by Stanford University, which describes a duck that appears to be very calm on the surface of the water but is working its legs relentlessly under water to keep afloat. 

Students go to school with a smile but struggle with their exercises and duties every day and night.

Students go to school with a smile but struggle with their exercises and duties every day and night. 

A story was published on Giao Duc Viet Nam about a woman at a parents’ meeting who asked if the teacher granted her daughter a certificate of satisfactory progress in learning.

The problem was that only 10 best students of the class were granted the certificates, while her daughter was not one of the best 10. The woman felt disappointed and asked for an additional certificate for the girl.

“If her father can show the certificate to the administration division at his office, he would receive the award of VND1 million for the daughter’s achievement,” the woman explained.

“In fact, I don’t need VND1 million. But my husband will feel ashamed if his daughter doesn’t have certificates, while other children do,” she said. “My husband doesn’t want to lose face.”

A father told his son, as published in Tuoi Tre: “You’d better ask your mother to go to parents’ meeting. I won’t go to the meeting next time. I feel ashamed of your results.”

What made the father feel ashamed was that his son only got 9 of 10 marks for semester tests, while many other students got 10/10.

Psychologists have said that Vietnamese parents, especially ones in large cities, tend to put excessively high hopes on their children. If their children cannot gain the expected achievements, they feel inferior.

As a result, children are repeatedly urged by parents to study harder to obtain the targets set by their parents.

The parents’ high expectations have also put pressure on teachers. Bui Mai, a teacher from Vinh Phuc, in an email to Giao Duc Viet Nam editorial board, wrote that a colleague told her to give high marks to bad exam papers just because ‘there must not be too many bad students at the school’. 

“There must be no more than four to five bad students for every 100 students, or the boss will get angry,” the colleague said.


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